Well, I was under the impression it was progressing nicely until this morning. I�didnapos;t get a goodnight from her nor a good morning but I discounted it. Then the IM came and we talked. She reiterated how she just wanted to be friends and couldnapos;t be with me right now. She said she needs time to find herself and what she wants. I�frankly dont understand it. How can you not know what you want or have any idea? Especially after weapos;ve been close like this for over a month, how can you still not know if thats what you truly want?�I just donapos;t know and it hurts. I could have sensed this coming though so and it always happens so itapos;s not a total shock but STILL bulshit.� Sheapos;s been saying this for a month, and still hasnapos;t started. And I get fucked over. Iapos;ve tried to do what I could to help her do this but she still has to. I donapos;t get what she means or what she needs to do and the fact is I donapos;t know what the future holds for us. I still really like her and want to be with her but she has to figure this shit out and I wish she could explain it to me better or something.� Iapos;m lost and confused. Does she just need to find her interests and stuff and be single and know she can be happy and develop that confidence?�Is that it?�I have no idea Things were going great and she said I did nothing wrong which I will believe, perhaps foolishly.� It makes sense to me but why go through all this bulshit when she can still discover her interests if we were together. I would understand. I did understand. Now she has to go and do all this. All I know is I hope she figures all this crap out soon so we can re-evaluate because I have no desire to pursue another girl when she is the one I want and she likes me and is there.� This is all complete bulshit. And I hate it. We should be together and I�miss her. And I donapos;t get how she can cut me off so easily yet still get so upset over stupid shit with her friend and not let THAT go. That is probably holding her back too if she canapos;t realize it. I just donapos;t know. Iapos;ll probably end up posting another entry tonight. I donapos;t hate her but this is all fucking ridiculous. I just want to be happy and her to be happy and that can happen if we were together. Fucking hell.
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