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The current stage has some highlights, but itapos;s really just a rut. Working and wasting away it seems. Yes, Iapos;m dating. Yes, Iapos;m doing little things for me. Yes, Iapos;m getting out. No, Iapos;m not going back to school in January. No, I havenapos;t picked up paintball again like I said I would. No, Iapos;m not in a relationship like Iapos;d like to be. Yes, Iapos;m independent. No, I have nothing to show for it.

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How long will I sit here knowing there are other opportunities for me and just not go for them?

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My patience doesnapos;t exist anymore. Iapos;ve become short, rude, and stubborn. I sit here writing all of this and realizing there are problems with it all, and I do nothing about it. I just. I mean I guess I need to talk to someone. Then the thought of money pops into my head, and I realize I canapos;t afford to talk to someone.

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Iapos;m irritated with my situation and with myself, and Iapos;m wanting to resolve it all. I donapos;t know even the first step.

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